we think
we think
our own thoughts
but the veil
is so thin
how oft we
simply repeat
what we heard
in the ether

Our fears made things wrong, that would otherwise be right. We let our discomfort define evil for us, instead of our own courageous truth. Rather than taking up arms to fight for good in the midst of pain, we wrote new laws to maintain our comfort. Inequitable laws.

We gave and gave and gave and gave – even giving away ourselves, divorcing ourselves from our own deepest needs and desires – with the purest of intentions, which were in fact polluted by the toxic reality that in overgiving, we had gutted our own integrity. The inequity of investments removed all color, leaving only monochromatic measurements of affection. By breaking with ourselves, we removed ourselves from the equation of love, so that the greatest possible outcome was sacrifice, rather than acceptance.

And so, we let a harvest of goodwill die on the vine, a sacrifice to future hope, a gamble for ease. Our weakness condemned us to forge a new and narrow path thru a desert of love, in search of the very truth we left behind.

Yet that season has now passed, that terrain is behind us, and the sun has now set on that day.

Let’s rest here tonight, and think of tomorrow’s battle differently. Not as a battle any longer, but as reconstruction. Let us return to ourselves now, embrace ourselves again, and adopt ourselves anew, as our own flesh and blood once again. Let us create the love we want to experience, and love ourselves more deeply than ever, with wild abandon and intimate understanding and undying commitment and patient dedication, such as we ourselves have always wanted but never experienced before.

And in so doing, fling wide open a curtain to the world, as we take the stage of our life story, to live the truth of who we are before a world whose self-abandonment desperately begs reflection.

And in so doing, lay for ourselves the plot lines for a new age of reconstruction: of more honest relationships, of deeper and truer and more reliable connections, of partnerships where one plus one equals a hundred, because nothing is greater than the truth of love and the love of truth, and that begins within.

secret soldiers
sent to fight
secret wars
come home sick
so suck ass scoundrels
can skim and scheme
and sulk away
satisfied and flush
sick to death
with secrets
other men must suffer
sickness borne by those who bore
soul wrenching acts of war
so those commanding
from shadows gilded
by pain and shame
go on in glibness
the bane of every patriot

take the reins
step up
grab the throttle
speak those words

the suddenness
of endings
long echos
repeat
each night
in dreams
of sudden pain
shattering
explosive
blinding dust
bleeding ears
cloudy eyes
leak silent tears
what have i done
to earn this cursed
assignment
to be the one
that must destroy
what love once built
betray the child
that love once loved
and force an end
that will not end
to be the one
who disappears
reforming in
another form
trying
and trying still
but now away
uneasy rest
but stronger still
still me
yet strong
alive and here
and stronger still
and stronger still
which strength commands
a greater strength, rebuilding
and that which died
it was not you
or me
but us
and yet
you live
i live
and stronger still